That time war didn't mean a thing
by dontstraytoofar
Summary: KatnissxJohanna. "For if Johanna's the one being saved, the one who can find the strength to smile again. In the end, everything was worth it. Falling in love with Johanna Mason was worth it." When two people find happiness in war and blood, whose to deny the fleeting feeling of happiness? Takes place in Mockingjay. Fluffiness ensues. May continue as story.
1. Chapter 1

_"__I look at you and see all the ways a soul can bruise,_

_and i wish i could sink my hands into your flesh _

_and light lanterns along your spine _

_so you know theres nothing but light when I_

_see you."_

_—__-_

_"__Its just water, it won't kill us"_

The rain stings, and the clouds feed her poison as the drops hit her skin. Each time they hit, white walls and screams flash past her vision. She grits her teeth as it runs down her face and the water makes her hair stick to her forehead. Yes, it is just water. Harmless, wet blue diamonds from the sky.

And Johanna laughs to her self, because diamond rain isn't supposed to hurt and Katniss' voice shouldn't be calming her so easily. But she focuses on her voice anyways, the hint of worry that hitches at recognition, the drop in tone as Katniss looks on worriedly. The girl on fire seems so alight in the rain and Johanna wonders how her burning flame isn't even the tiniest bit doused.

"Johanna?" Her forest brown eyes flicker up from where she was counting the drops hitting the puddles. Johanna focused on the numbers even though the rain hit too fast to count. She was at 96. She saw familiar brown, warm eyes staring back, far too worried and concerned for a girl scared of water. Shaking out of a daze and smirking at Katniss, her eyes alight with the old defiant district 7 Johanna, she wiped her matted hair into somewhat array and started jogging. Running backwards and calling to a confused Mockingjay, Johanna yelled over the sound of diamonds and stinging rain. "Come one brainless! Best lap out of three?!"

And the dripping girl on fire smiled back and ran to catch up, noticing the slight trembles of a girl scared of rain.

When she caught up they didn't speak, they let rain wash over them while running on 4 broken lungs. When they reached the end, gulping breaths in like the rain was drowning them, Johanna breathlessly laughed. Hunched over with hands on their knees their bodies ached.

"Well, not bad for a torturee." Her smile was slightly pained and Katniss looked on not in pity but in guiltiness. It was her fault, and she knew that. The 'saviour', the 'Mockingjay' it all made Katniss sick sometimes because Johanna now shook in rain and Katniss wished for once she wasn't such a grenade. Something that blows up and kills everyone in a 5 mile radius, and she stayed up at night sometimes wondering why Johanna of all people she loved, became a casualty.

Katniss then trips in thought. A word slipping in easily into her mind.

_Love_.

It shouldn't though, love never comes easy to her, but with Johanna Katniss never knows what to expect. And she can't help but think she's complicatedly fucked everything up. Loving never ends well and Johanna is to bright of a sunshine to dull.

The older girls crooked charming smile brings her back. "You were lagging at the end there, thought you weren't gonna make it." Katniss rises and lightly punches her in the arm while laughing.

"You wish, slowpoke" Feigning hurt and rubbing her arm Johanna mock gasps and laughs slip through. "Hey! I'll have you know I could beat your ass any day. Just give me a week or two and you'll be eating my dust, brainless" Still clutching her stomach for breath, Katniss lets her self smile. She's never had a reason, and Johanna gives her the freedom to let happiness leak through in the form of a smile.

Still holding a warm smile Johanna asks. "Lunch?" And Katniss groans at the thought of more or not likely stale bread while chatting about bombs with Gale. Johanna smirks and walks ahead grabbing a towel from a nearby bench. "Guessing thats a no?" Katniss looks appreciatively in her direction and nods, "Yeah, I'm gonna hit it early. Meet you back at our room?" While towelling down her chopped pathetic excuse for hair, Johanna tries and fails to not let her heart skip at the word "our".

Nodding too quickly to be casual, Johanna dries her face. "Sure, till then" Katniss smiles, an action she seemed to do a lot lately, and nods. "Till then." Still standing there, not moving from her position, Katniss falls into a daze. One thats holds Johanna's eyes and raised eyebrow, she doesn't realise she's been standing there staring at her wet forearms and sweat glazed neck like an idiot for nearly 2 minutes. Chuckling at Katniss' dazed expression, Johanna waves her hand in front of her face.

"Hellooo, earth to Katniss?" Snapping out of her gaze, a small redness appears on her cheeks at Johanna's amused smile and soft eyes. And Katniss then realises she is a love sick fool in the middle of a war, and she wonders how that even checks out.

Draping the now wet towel over her shoulder, Johanna looks to Katniss warmly. "Kinda need a functioning girl to go running with." A teasing smile is sent her way and Katniss frowns jokingly. "Oh, so thats all I am? Your running partner?"

They both smile, and god forbid the word smile is used one more time as its all they do as they banter back and forth. "Yep, and much more." Winking as she passes Johanna throws words over her shoulder, and the wink still makes Katniss' stomach twists, as do the registered words.

"Don't fail me now Girl on fire, betting on you"

And just as she thinks Johanna is gone so she can figure out her stupid feelings and her brain, the towel Johanna used flies and hits her in the head. Draped over her face it slides down and Katniss sighs as she hears Johanna's musical laughter trial off. Shaking the towel off to reveal an amused face, Katniss now wonders why not be a love sick fool? Why not let her mind and body fall? Why not encompass the feeling of love again? Why not fall in love with the girl scared of water who let diamonds scorch her skin.

Because if amidst a war; amidst dying friends and sacrifices, Katniss can smile. Then who ever made the smile appear must be special, must be worth dying _for. _And Katniss doesn't mind dying, she doesn't flinch at the thought.

For if Johanna's the one being saved, the one who can find the strength to smile again. In the end, everything was worth it.

Falling in love with Johanna Mason was worth it.

—-

"Hey, Katniss. You awake?"

Johanna's sleepy voice reached her ears as Katniss felt her eyes slowly blink open. It wasn't missed on the girl that Johanna called her by her first name, and it felt right as the words flowed around her. She'd been sleeping on and off, nightmares and all just being extra..you know, emotionally crippling. And after that gruelling run that afternoon, Katniss was extra drained. Sighing she answered groggily.

"Yeah, now I am." She heard the other girls groan and apology throughout their dark surroundings. Katniss guessed it was about 2 am. "Damn, sorry. Go back to sleep" The braided girl frowned and rushed to reassure her, if whatever Johanna was worried or scared about woke her up at 2 am it was important. And not even being able to see her face or expression, Katniss could gather enough from the tremble of Johanna's voice that tears marred the surface. "Hey, no its ok." Sitting up and directing her voice in Johanna's direction, Katniss hugged her knees. "I wasn't having the best time sleeping either"

Silence hung around them like the blankets on their beds and Katniss thought of ways to break it while Johanna though of things to say. They both were never good at words and mixing it together just spelt the word awkward. But Johanna felt tears building again and Katniss was awake and listening to _her, _to the girl who had no one left to love besides the warm brunette flame that actually cared enough to talk in the middle of the night. So both their words tumbled out, knocking into one another and making blushes appear.

"You ok?"

"I'm scared"

The two girls looked up at their combined question and sentence, Katniss showing concern and Johanna hiding quietly behind a wall of blankets. "Jo?" The girl in question looked up, surprised at the name and uncharacteristically looking shy.

"I'm scared too, terrified even." Johanna's lips parted, her eyebrows furrowed and she thought of a monumentally stupid idea. Getting up, she crawled to the other girls bed. Sitting next to Katniss, feeling her small shuffles of her body and quite breaths she reached out and held her hand.

It was weirdly soft, Johanna thought, but rough all the same. Her life lines seemed used, and her nails were rounded and blunt, but Johanna held her hand so carefully Katniss wondered if she was porcelain. She looked to their hands and turned her own over from where it rested, holding Johanna's calloused hands back. Either from the years of chopping trees down, her hands having been rubbed against wood, or how they were rarely held in such caresses Katniss didn't know.

But seeing the slight smile on Johanna's face from the action sent jolts to Katniss' heart. And she scooted closer on the bed so they were touching shoulders, still holding hands but tighter now. Johanna's voice then broke the comfortable silence, playing with Katniss' hands and letting out a breathless laugh, Johanna spoke unbelievingly.

"The Mockingjay? Scared? Where did the poster Katniss go?" And she did wonder. Where did the Katniss of the rebellion go? Because right now, holding Johanna's hand while covered in blankets seemed the opposite of what everyone wanted. The girl in question shook her head, at a loss for where she actually _did _go.

"I don't know, I guess she was never really there" She said it mournfully, like she was already gone. Johanna frowned and bumped shoulders for Katniss to look up from their hands, smiling warmly. She looked up, meeting shiny eyes and a smile.

"Really? Hope not. Could use her help right now." Katniss chuckled and leaned into Johanna on instinct, feeling her tense for a second Katniss debated whether to pull back. But she relaxed and let Katniss' head rest on her shoulder as Johanna felt the encouraging swipe of Katniss' thumb on the back of her hand.

"And what could Johanna Mason, of all people need with me?" The question was light, teasing and friendly, but Katniss wondered if the other girl could feel the meaning behind them. The meaning that Katniss needed Johanna, as much as she thought Johanna needed her. It was stupid but Katniss hoped, for whatever dumb, lovey-dovey bull shit, that Johanna _did _need her.

Then finally, besides Prim; Katniss would have a reason to live on this fucked up planet.

"What do _I_ need with _you?_" Katniss looked up and saw Johanna already looking at her. She said the words like they were obvious, said like they were the most obvious thing on the planet. And Johanna's greeny brown mess that is her eyes were mesmerising and Katniss wondered if she just trapped a tree in her gaze and called it a day. She was looking at her weirdly, like she couldn't comprehend what she was seeing. Her next words were breathless, whispered and said with awe.

"Kinda everything, brainless" Johanna then looked to their hands intertwined and squeezed tighter in their hold. Biting her lip then letting it go, (Katniss found this _way _too endearing) she looked to Katniss' face again. "Kinda everything…."

And the Mockingjay believed it. Every word. She doesn't know why though. Be it the way Johanna's voice was so soft and true when she uttered the words or how her eyes were _literally _a window to her soul, Katniss believed her.

Believed the little girl from District 7 holding an axe to big for her and smiling. Believed the scared girl hiding in the Games with someone else's blood on her hands. Believed the girl who lost _everything, _everything she loved. And Katniss wondered why it had taken so long for her too figure it out. To figure out how _human _Johanna Mason is, to see that this strong willed woman needed _her. _The small girl from District 12 with a bow.

And it scared her for reasons clear to admit how much she needed Johanna. To realise she needed someone while she hid under blankets at night, scared from a man with a rose.

"Everything?" She said it disbelievingly, Katniss words slightly teasing. Scoffing, Johanna smiled. "Yeah, don't make me say it again. _Catnip." _She said it mockingly, laughing as she did so and Katniss mocked gasped and joined in. They fell on the bed giggling, their hands not moved from their hold.

Katniss looked in awe as they laid in pillows and blankets at 2 in the morning at how happy Johanna made her feel. It was weird as not that long ago, Johanna made her skin crawl and teeth grit.

"How do you do it Mason?" Johanna looked at her in question, a slight smile still on her lips and inquisitive eyes.

"Do what?"

"Make me so happy so easily while I should be mourning the loss, should be wallowing in war time sadness." Katniss looks genially confused and Johanna sits up on her elbows and looks in confusion as well.

"Who says you have to be? You don't have to mourn every soul that leaves this earth, brainless. Just the ones who made you special, the ones that made you….._you. _You know? Get it?" Katniss looked up and let her words sink in, wondering when she got so inquisitive.

"Yeah, I think so" Johanna smiled and laid back down, turning her head in Katniss' direction.

"Good. Oh, and just so you know, making you happy makes me happy. Soooo…. do it for self gain obviously. That answer your question?"

Looking at each other and smiling, laying on cotton in warmth Katniss laughed. It made sense, being happy while war hung over your head. What other greater way to mourn the dead? Too laugh and remember them in happiness.

And while Katniss stared into Johanna's eyes, she wondered if this is what Johanna can do while just making her smile, then maybe kissing her would make the war go away. Make everything go away.

And so she did. And she was soft like the trees breeze and her hair smelt of pines, but it was her lips that made Katniss forget. Johanna didn't flinch, she kissed back and could feel Katniss spark in her mouth and her own eternal flame grew with each passing second. She reached up and cupped Katniss' cheek, holding her in place as if to never let go. She opened her lips to let her in and it felt as if Katniss' _was _the poster girl with the flames in the background, and the wings spread out her back.

It ended too soon, as they caught breath. Johanna looked to Katniss with her lips slightly parted, shocked, but more pleased than anything.

"Well, I should go running more. Huh?"

It would defiantly be worth the stinging and the pain if it meant more nights like this. Nights where Katniss was Katniss and Johanna could learn to love again.

Because death is inevitable and Katniss can think of a hundred ways to die. But running doesn't seem so bad when _where_ your running doesn't matter.

Its _who _your running to.

And Johanna is waiting at the finish line.


	2. Chapter 2

It started with an obnoxious lady in the waiting line for dinner.

After accidentally bumping her and knocking the woman's drink over, the brunette 50 or so year old told Katniss, yelling in a fit of rage, to "just go home!" The braided girl apologised, with a scolded look and went on her way leaving dinner for another night. But it was later, up outside where she could see the stars, she thought about the woman with anger issues and what she had said.

Wondering why of all the other insults or yelling words she used 'go home', like saying District 13, a bombed depressed shelter was a home. Shaking her head she narrowed it down to the ignorance and rudeness of the lady.

But Katniss couldn't help but realise she wasn't really sure where home was. Being told to go home and not having anywhere to go made her body and mind long for a place to _call home. _So she let her mind and body guide her and she smiled when 15 minutes later she found her self knocking on Johanna's door…well _their _door.

She was throwing knives on the roof of their apartment with her other unoccupied arm under her head and Katniss wondered how she managed to sneak _knives _into the room. They stuck firmly into the roofing and made dull thuds that covered the silence. Even in this state Johanna seemed to not care, blissfully unaware that if she either was distracted or didn't throw hard enough, the blade would come searing down and impale her.

Katniss shook her head to clear the morbid thought, even what ifs about Johanna dying made her heart pound uncomfortably and her knees buckle. Because Katniss seemed to care about her, she held the girl so close to her heart, she was afraid of how easily Johanna could snatch it and run away. But then Johanna would smile and Katniss wouldn't care if she took it, it was pretty much hers anyways.

"Watcha thinking bout, brainless?"

They came out too easily. The words that is.

"You, and Snow and the games….." She trails off, hoping fervently that Johanna didn't take notice of her words. A light blush is colouring her cheeks and Katniss doesn't even want to _imagine _the teasing if Johanna saw the red seeping her skin.

The next blade thrown sticks and the older girls hand stays up in the air as the words sink in. A small smile touches Johanna's lips and she retracts her arm from the air to sit comfortably behind her head with the other.

"Don't think too hard, might strain yourself." And Katniss sees Johanna's foot, thats propped up on her knee tap the air like hearing those words was the normalist thing. Like even just _slightly _knowing of Katniss' feelings didn't faze her the slightest, didn't make her go running to the hills.

And it comforted Katniss immensely to know that if Johanna ever _did _find out, her next destination wouldn't be the hills or an apartment door. Johanna wouldn't run, and Katniss hadn't felt this happy since she was kissed after the rain by a girl who now didn't run.

"Is…everything okay? You've been standing there all, you know, broody and also kinda happy? Does that work?" Johanna's voice reached her fuzzy mind, the older girl was looking at her with her eyebrows furrowed and a questioning gaze before she looked to the ceiling again. Katniss blinked, thinking about kissing Johanna Mason again was dangerous territory.

"Yeah, no I'm fine. Everything okay with you?" Johanna briefly inclined her head from her ceiling gaze and nodded, throwing the last knife into the air. "I'm good, though kissing you wouldn't be that bad right now." Her smile was infectious and Katniss had to tell herself to breathe as to not choke on nothing. Sometimes the braided girl wished for Johanna to have a filter, one that at least works so she could be prepared, or have a backup plan, for what comes out her mouth.

"Uh…" Her face was bright red, and she couldn't seem to find words. Be it from how Johanna actually _wants _to kiss her again or from the fact that Katniss surprises herself from how much she wants it to happen. But the words that escape her mouth are so awkward and so unlike Katniss Everdeen she wonders when she was replaced with a pre teen with a crush.

And I guess she was too enamoured to take notice of a certain knife that didn't fully stick into the ceiling, swaying on its tip about to fall.

"Actually I have, you know, arrows to shoot and a world to save and stuff so…" Johanna rolled her eyes as she saw Katniss turn, honestly did she have to get naked again in an elevator for the girl to get a hint?

"Sometimes I wonder Everdeen, if you really have a clue"

The knife flinched.

She turned around again, the blush still lightly covering her cheeks. "What?" Johanna sighed, she was kinda cute when confused, like a puppy. "I like you, brainless. More than I care to admit, get it?"

And Katniss did get it, because Johanna wanted to kiss her and she cared about her and judging from the annoyed look from Johanna from having to confess that, Katniss guessed it was genuine. So she stepped closer to the girl on the bed intending to grab her face and kiss her (the feeling was now overwhelming) and maybe it was then Katniss noticed the knife.

The knife that sparkled from the light of their room. One that was already falling, the tip aimed at Johanna's heart.

Propelling her body faster then she had ever moved, Katniss dove. Straight into Johanna's body she grabbed her torso and rolled, covering Johanna's head with her arm in the process. She felt a sharp sting in her right arm, and the feeling of the beds pillows cushioned her roll. Johanna felt the ends of her hair lightly touched and tiny strands of it landed onto the blankets.

Katniss landed on top of Johanna, the knife landing a sharp standing stab into the mattress and the sheets. A mere centimetre from Johanna's ear.

Breathing heavily Katniss didn't notice the fact that she was literally _on top _of Johanna for the fact that the older girl was nearly killed. Johanna. Dead. And it made Katniss' heart beat faster and her breathing short circuit.

"Holy fucking shit" Johanna looked up to Katniss on top of her and her mouth was agape. Feeling the girl muscles tense she breathed a sigh of relief and shock. "Holy fucking shit" Repeating her last words she swallowed, turning her head toward the knife she realised how close it all was.

Katniss was still holding her, the younger girl looked down into Johanna's eyes and she swore her mind and heart leapt for joy at the face of Johanna breathing. The girl beneath her looked up in parts admiration and adoration at the fact that Katniss seemed to save her a lot, in more ways than one.

"Katniss, you saved me." The girl on top of her was breathing hard and Katniss' sting wasn't so bad in her arm so she opted to stare a little longer. Realising Johanna's word Katniss looked bewilderedly to the side and found the knife half into the mattress.

"I guess I did, huh?" Johanna half laughed half shook her head. "You guess? Katniss you literally jumped in front of a falling knife! I mean, all I had for you was kissing and awesome sex but you go and one up me"

And although Johanna nearly got stabbed by a falling knife and Katniss is blushing _way _to hard, they laugh and fall into each other because being on a bed with torn sheets has never felt so perfect. It had all never felt so _good, _and Katniss' arm still stings but she doesn't notice it because Johanna saw Katniss' smile and it was too irresistible _not _to kiss.

So she does, and its nearly more perfect as the first time because Katniss is at least half now prepared for Johanna's non existent filter. They smile into the kiss and Katniss lets her fingers trail Johanna's jawline while the girl beneath her feels everything at once; to the weight of Katniss straddling her body to the heat of her hands, Johanna feels it all.

The small breathes and sounds they both make fill the room as the kiss builds, and for some reason in a moment like this Johanna can't help but think how cliche' they both look. But it doesn't matter as Katniss' tongue fills her mouth and she swears Katniss _is _the girl on fire as she sparks up her insides with the smallest touch.

She reaches her own hands up to Katniss' cheeks and runs her nails up her face and through her hair, eliciting the softest yet sexiest whimper that Johanna has ever heard. It urges her on, taking the girls lip between her teeth and pulling softly she feels her own body rise to meet Katniss'.

She's breathless and beautiful Johanna thinks, as their mouths drink each other in.

She's perfect and breathtaking Katniss thinks, as their bodies mould as one.

**Okay so had to repost for the files or something stuffed up. But welcome to this...story. Right now its just a story with a plot going to come into play at some ****point but i just needed fluffy joniss after Mockingjay :) so enjoy!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Next up! Wrote ****this at 1 am so sorry for mistakes. Have a bit of Johanna angst and appearance of and reviews are very welcome as it gives me your feedback to work on things. enjoy xx**

"She's a _mutt. _Filth. Why is she still here?"

Her eyes are rageful, and her teeth gritted.

"No, _you_ don't get to say that."

There voices are hushed, Peeta's rings horsely and Johanna's teeters on the edge of dangerous. She's standing amongst the white walls of Peeta's hospital room and he ticks occasionally from his position on the bed. Its too bright where they talk and Johanna's eyes are still focusing to the harshness that it gives. The bed sheets are neatly skewed, with untouched pillows and meals that dot the room.

It's pristine.

A white room that holds a monster.

Johanna still paces, with poisoned eyes roaming her movement. To her fragile legs to her bony figure, Peeta's eyes take her in with a guarded wary gaze. She looks smaller, Johanna's features of dark eyes and shaven head, her body shrivelled and she can't help but wonder that if she falls will her body break? Her bones seemed like glass and her skin was porcelain and Johanna scoffed at her weakened state and how easily it would be for her to crumble.

Her bare feet, adorned with a hospital gown, are cold on the swept floor and she shivers from the heat leaving her feet as she spits venom of words into Peeta. And he sits with sunken cheeks taking it in.

She's holding her elbows and pacing as she talks, her eyes trained on Peeta's form as intent as he. The ticks of his eyes and face increase, each click a countdown to an emotional breakdown explosion.

It brings Johanna comfort to not be the only fucked up one in this room.

Sitting upright he follows Johanna's pacing form, she still manages to walk confidently. Her face is set forward and her body radiates the 'don't mess with me' attitude, but her usual walk is wobbled. Slightly chipped and carved as she steps, her body shakes on scars.

"Yes I do. Johanna she's a _mutt. _There's nothing good left of her!" The words flow to her, in jagged lines they fill her ears. Johanna whirls and talks harshly, with a hint of sadistic high to her voice she scoffs and lets her rage in words.

"And what about you, lover boy? Where's the good in _you?," _She looks him up and down in barely hidden disgust for what he is and says.

"because from where I'm standing, I see nothing. _Nothing _worth calling _good" _She's folded her arms and she tinkers with the morphling supply by the bed side. She still finds it hard to stop taking it, but why stop when it feels so good? She shakes her head and drops it, Katniss was helping her stop so she had to at least try.

His face then slowly droops in unhidden sadness, but his eyes are still red.

"I guess your right, Johanna"

Her face show surprise at his words and Johanna can't tell if its Peeta talking or its the venom running its course through his veins. She blinks and answers.

"Really?" She leans on the drip that she wheels around and studies her nails, then shrugs after a moment contemplation. "Oh wait of course I am".

Peeta looks up and shakes his head. Why can't Johanna see that although he is a monster, there is a more terrifying one lurking in these walls? One that seems to care for both of them? He doesn't understand and he runs his hands through his matted hair.

"I am a monster. But Katniss _needs _to die, she's a threat"

Johanna looks down to him and stares dumbfounded at his words. Already on the edge from his crazy mutterings of "mutt" and "kill" she breaks. Her teetering rage spilling over at his blatant disregard for Katniss and anyone else. For his utter brainwashed mind that seems to be so far capitalised that he can't even rationalise right from wrong.

"Okay, I'm trying to be calm but…. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!?" He looks up surprised at the shrill outburst and frowns. He notices she's leaning heavily on the drip now and he doesn't know why he suddenly sees the bones so prominent on her wrist they could break skin. He looks to her face and she seems characteristically mad and a literal walking definition of 'done'.

"Baker boy, we _chose _this. To sacrifice anything for this fucked up plan and rebellion. We knew the stakes"

She takes a stuttering breath. Morphling withdrawals never were easy to handle. She continues as the haze clears.

"we _knew _what the rebellion entitled even if we didn't know specifics." She got closer and her next words were clear. Words with underlying meaning.

"The only reason that I'm even talking to you, is because of Katniss. Because for some ungodly reason she loves you and cares for you. So _you _and your fucked up mind need to get shit sorted because I don't think I can handle another Katniss crying in my chest at 2 am."

Her last words were unnoticeably softer and Peeta's face showed confusion and guilt. He looked down again and picked at his hands as he heard the wheels of her drip creak out. The wheels then stopped and he saw her body turn from the door.

She was holding a small clump of bound leaves in her hand.

"We seem to have something in common, lover boy." Peeta looked up to Johanna and fiddled with his nails.

"What's that?" His voice was gravely and torn.

"We both killed our minds for a girl, and you know what?" Johanna then smiled, not sadistic or pitying but strangely _warm. _Just a slight tilt of the lips as she looked to the branch in her fingers.

"It was fucking worth it, weirdly fucked up and worth it" She turned to leave as the wheels scraped the floor and Peeta was left to wonder if losing his mind was worth it for Katniss Everdeen. He laid down with his hands on his stomach and his head sunk in a pillow staring at that white ceiling and pristine monster jail.

And Peeta, closing his eyes without hearing the usual screams, slept soundly that night. Taking comfort in the known fact that even though the capitol did turn him into something he's not, Johanna was the same. Loyal, fierce and protective in nature.

And in the venom free recess of his mind, Peeta dreamt of Katniss running in the meadows, loving and laughing with ease. Even if it wasn't with him.

He dreamt of Katniss having a life, and he wouldn't be surprised if the girl with the axe started running with her. He smiled as he shut his eyes. And the little bread boy who fell in love with the Mockingjay, didn't mind if he never opened them again.

Because Katniss was loved by the girl from District 7 who swears profusely and loves so deeply it hurts.

And plus, Peeta had to agree with himself:

A fresh pine needle that smelt of home, was a way better gift than stale bread.


	4. Chapter 4

**Heres another one! this one is told in Johanna's point of view, branching off from last chapter, and a time skip. Enjoy! x**

She was the fucking hardest book I've ever read. Being said in the nicest way possible, Katniss Everdeen was a some what conundrum to me. She's a person who wears their heart on their sleeve, yet for some reason doesn't let anyone touch it. A girl who could be the fiercest person in the room, yet when the doors close she curls up in a ball.

Someone who can love so strongly yet crumble so easily when it's taken from her. Maybe that's why I attempted to turn her pages and read her story, to love her worn paper and tears in the corners. I'm not sure why I was so enamoured with her skin and eyes that held words, but I was. Still am actually.

And maybe again that's why I fell in love with her, for the simple fact she let me. She let me trail my fingers across the edge of her pages as I read and turned. I studied her, loved her broken chapters and re-read the ending about a thousand times. She let me tape the rips and sow the cover, I don't think I've ever read a book so many times.

I held Katniss in my heart, but after her sisters death and countless others sometimes I felt her pages singe. Embers licking the back and the words, it felt like left over fire from her home. And I would lie awake some nights making my heart beat faster to fan out the flames.

Lying next to me asleep, her fist would tighten as if she felt the ash of page 154. A useless page, if I remember correctly just a paragraph of her getting her makeup done. But it was still a part of her, and when I felt her tighten in her sleep I felt useless. Not being able to fully put out the flame.

Then she would relax, because later she told me she would just flip to page 657. The chapter she titled: "The girl from District 7" and it was of me and her in a meadow full of Primroses, and she would fall back to sleep letting the gentle light rain of the meadow rid of the last embers. I smile whenever she tells me this, each page she turns to is different but that one is my favourite.

We fall asleep together and the heart on her sleeve stays where it is. My arm across her stomach so she doesn't curl up. And her head tucked under my chin so her world doesn't crumble.

And if you didn't guess, she reads me as well. But my pages are rough to the touch, like tree bark from District 7 (ironic, but true) and her delicate hands smooth them out from their wrinkles. Sometimes mine singe but mostly they dampen. The chapters and pages soaked to the spine, and the letters run all together so the words don't make sense. They rip from the water but she dries me with her flames.

The times I wake up clenching her shirt, is from the book being plunged into a river. You can't save the story. The ink is incomprehensible. But she'll turn to page 657 again and it's so warm in the meadow that my pages dry instantly. She burns the words into her mind anyway, just in case.

She says I'm her favourite story, I'm unpredictable and exiting with the chapters woven within me. But unlike me her favourite part is the beginning. The slow burn of my story leading to an amazing summery, and apparently it gets her every time.

She tells me this when we lay in front of the fire in our home in District 12. Its snowing and sometimes you can see ash from the bombs, she says she doesn't mind the black snow fall but deep down I know she does. I _am _talking about the girl with the heart on her sleeve.

Its those same nights she says I have a strong heart, (she always touches my chest when she says this) that I have a heart of elastic. I'm skeptical, but she knows me so well that anything she says about me is almost 100 percent true. I opt to say her brain is a force to be reckoned with, right before I call her brainless. We laugh and every things perfect in front of the fire in snowy weather.

—

She still hunts, winter is her favourite season to go.

We walk into the rehabilitated forest and I wonder if she's right about my strong heart, my boundless _elastic_ heart. But I agree with her in my mind as she kisses me on my cold nose while she draws her bow. Because Katniss Everdeen bends it every way possible, but I still stand unaffected as if my strings aren't being pulled. As if the chords of my heart aren't being plucked every time she holds me or kisses my skin. It's all good pulls and plucks though.

A snow flake on my eyelash brings me out of my daze and I stare at her in a beanie and scarf. It makes me love her more as I stare at the gathering snow on her clothes, flecking her wool. Her glove-less hands red from the cold (she would rather frostbitten hands over a good haul) pull back the bow string and aim at something my eyes can't quite see. She lets go and a smile hits her lips at the feeling. The winter sun hits her eyes.

She's so beautiful in this moment that I write a new chapter: page 765. And I tell her later in front of the fire and she smiles then asks what it's titled. I blush, she teases, and I blame the redness of my cheeks on the fireplace. I answer her anyways, the brown pool of her eyes too irresistible.

"There's still someone left" She glances confused at my words. I roll my eyes and tease. "That's what I called it brainless, it's titled: "There's still someone left".

And suddenly she's in the Arena in the Quarter Quell looking up at me. Hearing me say, after screaming at the sky, that "there's no one left I love". She comes back and cradles my cheek, kisses my nose again, then my lips. It's soft and sends my head spinning like every other time.

Every nightmare from now on I flick hastily to page 756 and Katniss is already on 657.

I love her, scorched pages and everything. And she loves me. Maybe my elastic heart can stretch even further, making more room for her pages. I wouldn't mind, actually I'd welcome it. She's such a complex conundrum and so fucking beautiful of a human to hold. And I would happily spend the rest of my life with her.

I'm Johanna Mason, the girl from District 7, and there's still someone left I love.


End file.
